Being kind to yourself.

The past couple of months I’ve been in a rut hence my blogging absence and before I fully return I find myself wanting and needing to relay an important message not only to my readers (if you’re still here!) but also to myself.

Following ALRA I failed to get so much as a second look at the 2 other schools I auditioned which combined with a less than pleasant run in with some old class “mates” resulted in cutting my season short. I’ve never been one to be defeated by rejection but following my last audition everything seemed to collapse in. There are those who will make no attempt at covering their feelings of superiority and for the first time I really began to question if they were right – I mean it’s taken me 3 years to get a second look and they got in first time, could it simply be that I wasn’t good enough?

I’ve tormented myself this past couple of months believing in unconstructive notions that are simply not true. I train incredibly hard and have brilliant teachers to point me in the right direction. Where drama school is concerned, there are a whole number of factors that come in to play; some cohorts were in favour with the right people at the right time, some had the right look, some happened to have the right panel watching, Some are male (around 14 females to 1 male auditions for drama school places), some are actually studying a different medium, some went to schools I’ve never auditioned for, some have a clear niche that a school has picked up on – the list could go on forever. None of them are unattainably better or worse performers than myself nor are they guaranteed a more successful career because they trained two years earlier than myself; in truth, I suspect many will have a very trying time out in the industry where entitled attitudes and lack of resilience simply won’t stand. I have skills of importance that they haven’t developed equal to the skills that I am yet to delevop and the same is true for every performer at any level of their career. No-one has the right to make you feel inferior – especially not you.

A true lapse in confidence is one of the worse things an actor can go through. I’m a big believer that you should only pursue a career in the performing arts if you hand-on-heart couldn’t possibly live doing ANY other job. With that said it’s a crushing thought to think that there are variables beyond your control that could result in a future where you don’t get to perform. It becomes all too easy to fall into the trap of  questioning and comparing yourself to others and when these thoughts take root in your mind they can block and warp  the most basic of rules that we all know; believe in yourself. Losing sight of your self is truly disheartening and having others mocking you will always cause some degree of upset but you can only feel subordinate if you allow yourself to do so. The most vital and difficult skill a performer can have; a precarious balance of humility and confidence. Know that you can always improve, you are not above any of your fellow performers but realise that you have a skill that is special and unique to only you. It’s a skill I’m far from mastering yet find myself urging others to practice.

It is part of the job to be scrutinitised and criticised on our looks, our work and our lives in this industry. Often, at amateur levels this is misconstrued to mean that we must all tear each other shreds for the chance to further our careers. This one-up mentality can be carried into training and manifests itself in unhealthy bitching and self-depreciation – the latter of which can have a hugely negative effect on the progression of both ourselves and others and the decisions we make. We will face enough adversity in this career without dragging ourselves down. If we don’t set the example we cannot expect others to treat us better than we treat ourself nor can you expect support from those you belittle. Vindictive, defeatist and antagonising behaviour is easily spread so learn some humility but most of all be kind to yourself.

Drama School Costs: Is it really possible to work and train without detrimental effect?

A full-time BA course costs £9,000 per year min. here in the UK.

Drama school course’s can cost up to £14,000 per year. This excludes living cost’s which can stretch to more than £10,000 per year for students living in London.

Any readers who have been with me for a while will know that this September I began studying at ALRA on their part-time foundation course after having to reject place’s at 2 major oversea’s drama schools because I couldn’t afford to study without major financial backing. A question I have often been asked is why (given that I was originally a wait-listed candidate) I chose to study part-time rather on the more intensive full-time course and the simple answer, once again, is money.

At £7,000 for the year plus travel the full-time course was simply unaffordable. Opting for the part-time course has allowed me to work to save money for both this course and whatever follows – but not without causing detriment to my studies. Frustrating as it is working 2 jobs is necessary if I want to be able to further my training, unfortunately however, it eats into time which could be spent in class or at home working on my skills, monologues and audition technique. Working days and nights up to 6 times a week on minimum wage is exhausting but a better paid job comes with demands and commitments that an auditioning actor just can’t make and funding is few and far between. I’m stuck in a catch-22 and I’m not alone.

Prior to this year I was studying a HNC with a friend who is now in her first year of BA Acting at one of my top choice schools – Guildford School of Acting. GSA is situated in Surrey, for student finance purposes this would class applicants as studying “outside” of London prompting roughly a £2,000 drop in available student finance funding. However take a look at housing and accommodation price’s and you’ll find the cost of living is almost equal and compared to some London Burroughs; more. Fortunately, my friend had the foresight to account for this and throughout summer worked full-time hours to ensure that when she got drama school her training wouldn’t suffer – saving enough to cover a full years rent. Another friend, also studying at GSA, was fortunate enough to be granted the Andrew Lloyd Webber Scholarship allowing him to enter the industry without the pressure of the debts so many other students are to, although he must still work to cover the extortionate living costs.

With all this financial pressure students, increasingly, are seen taking up additional work to support themselves during their studies with tales of some Drama schools students attempting to work full-time hours in addition to their courses. Now for most students this is an inaugural step into adulthood however on a course with contact hours that double the average and strains both the physical and emotional limits of its students, can they truly be able to give 100%? Is it even feasible that a performing arts student can work enough hours to support themselves without additional funding? My guess is not. Now one may argue that this is the name of the game – out in the industry low and no paid work may find a performer working whilst performing – but can we justify preventing thousands of performers from having the chance to try? There is an abundance of scholarships for university fee’s but maybe it’s time we looked at what is really holding aspiring actors back and offered more support to those who can’t afford to live.

Drama School: A passion the pro’s lack?

Over the last year, I have seen countless production’s in regional theatre’s and on the west end but time and time again I have found the most gripping of performances come not from the seasoned, nationally acclaimed leads but from a much more exciting demographic: 3rd year drama school students on the verge of their careers.

In the final year of training students are filled with anticipation and anxiety for their long awaited career to finally begin. The stakes are raised possibly higher than they will ever be in their awaiting careers and perhaps as a result of this I have found that the physical and emotional energy used in a 3rd year drama school performance is almost double that of a professional piece of theatre. The focus and joy at finally being able to showcase 3 years of hard work to the public and potential employers pushes their performances to new heights and in my experience results often in a more engaging experience for all those involved. For many of the performers this the moment that will determine if they will have any career whatsoever in this cut-throat industry; they simply cannot afford to give anything less than 110%.

Professional productions, on the other hand, often fall just short of the high expectations set by the public often based simply on false understandings of the word “professional”. Now, that’s not to say that actors in many west-end, regional and touring productions don’t perform to an exceptionally high standard however I have personally found that such performers, many of whom are secure in their careers or at least their current contract, lack a sense of urgency and compulsion that is etched into a graduate. The energy of performances by established names or in established productions inevitably falters after years of performing 8 times a week. In fact the one west end production I have seen that was not lacking an ounce of energy was that by the Urinetown UK cast mere hours before it’s closure. Years into the profession it would appear that even the cream of the crop find it all too easy to disregard the determination and passion that drove them to their current positions.

Whilst in a number of cases the knowledge and skill set of an established professional actor may far exceed that of one yet to truly begin their career, I simply can’t ignore the unique spark that graduate performers bring to the stage and urge you all to see their work – if only to see the pure passion that drives a young performer.

YMT:UK – A Bachelor Girls Guide to Musical Brilliance

As I mentioned in my last post, for the past 2 weeks I have been away on an intensive musical theatre course with Youth Music Theatre UK. In these 2 weeks myself along with 35 talented girls, 4 mind-blowing musicians and a creative team of pure genius learnt, blocked and created a fabulous piece of brand new musical theatre in time for its world premier at the Barbican Theatre, Plymouth.

Our poster outside the Barbican Theatre, Plymouth.

The course was one of the most valuable theatrical experiences I have gained to date. Our creative team was headed by Musical Theatre royalty with west-end stars Pete Gallagher directing. Heather Douglas choreographing (/being all-round fabulous) and the brains behind the brilliance, the power team Jennifer Green and Caroline Wigmore guiding us in staging their vision. In addition to this we had the talents of Jamie Simmons (F*cking Men, Kings Head Theatre) on set design and costume along with GSA MA graduate-to-be Aimee Gray who gave us a crash course in vocal health and manipulation to hit those darling flapper tones the era of the piece so desperately called for. Surrounded by so much experience, knowledge and talent, its not surprising how much I gained from these 2 intensive weeks.

The mandatory dressing room snap:- even moments before a show, one always makes time for tradition.

Unlike many of the other YMT Projects produced this season, The Bachelor Girls cast had never met before we began the course on August 17th – not one of us had seen so much as a single line from the script yet we all threw ourselves into the project head first. After arriving we went straight to rehearsal and began the getting to know you process, we learnt sections of songs, period dances moves and Pete’s patented warm-up song to be jammed to every morning “Start wearing Purple”. By day 2 (possibly the most intensive day of the entire course) we had began the casting process and by day 3 we were off on our journey each of us laying claim to a brand new original character. The piece was based on a truly fascinating period of history in women’s rights following the first world war. Largely based on the idea of the ensemble we followed 3 girls journeys into womanhood following a speech (eloquently delivered by our trooper Ela Yalçın!) informing their class of the hardships they would face following the death of millions of men. With no husbands to be found women were often deported to other countries and the homely life girls typically dreamt of were no longer possible for the majority. In the days that followed casting we learnt 2 hours worth of material before heading to the theatre after just 6.5 days worth of rehearsal time to tech and dress our piece – even the pro’s were just a little impressed.

Rehearsals ran 9am till 9pm every day and I simply can’t relay how much I learnt during this time (including how to steam like a pro). Halfway through rehearsals we were visited by Aimee Gray – currently completing her MA in voice and singing at GSA – who’s help was absolutely invaluable in understanding how to use the voice properly. I was lucky enough to grab her for a short one to one session which; along with some advice from our book writer Caroline; aided me in identifying a number of bad habits I have never been corrected on such as pushing the larynx low down whilst singing- habits which I was shocked to find out could lead to some serious vocal problems – which I can now work on correcting (and I am very pleased to announce that poor diction was no longer on the list although many other things were). In addition to the improvement seen in my vocals, working under the ferociously fabulous Heather Douglas saw a massive increase in stamina and physical strength – the routines given to us were not those usually expected to be seen in a youth theatre production and I feel like every single one of our 36 strong cast saw a enormous improvement in our physical abilities – in particular we all have an unrivalled Charleston to add to the C.V.

Just a few of the wonderful girls with whom I shared the journey.

Whilst the course was a lot of work we still had some down time which was mostly spent in our lodgings – the boarding house of Plymouth College Junior school which was our rehearsal base before we got to the theatre. All 36 of our all female cast and 4 of our all male band formed strong bonds the likes of which I am sure will be carried forward for years to comes. This really added to the excellence of the experience and made for a number of very tearful goodbyes when we finally had to part! Together we received 3 cooked meals a day prepared by the school kitchen staff – for many of us food was our main concern (growing girls need nourishment!) so it was relief to discover our meals were nothing short of delicious. In fact despite Heather’s best efforts to work us to the bone I’m confident that I must have gained at least 10 pounds from the sheer quantity of scran my stomach has consumed. During our stay we were also given a day off to explore Plymouth which is home to the lovely Drake Circus shopping centre and the amusingly named “The Hoe” which had some beautiful views of Devon (but not Cornwall as my table “Nommer” Naomi was very disappointed to find out). Another highlight for me were the frequent visits from Jen and Caroline’s recent additions to their respective families even if Jen’s baby did cry the first time I tried to hold him.

The beautiful view from “The Hoe” on our day off exploring Plymouth.

Overall the experience was utterly unforgettable and I am already counting down the days to the annual “Let It Snow” reunion concert. Our creative team imparted a plethora of industry advice and it was very arresting to peer into the professional world through they eyes of such prominent figures in the industry. Our director Pete was particularly inspiring and I was exceptionally grateful of his graciousness in answering all our queries (watch this space for an auditions interview later this week!). It was simply incredible to hear of the journey we face as aspiring performers and the advice has been unrivalled to say the least. Our final performance was one I will not forget. I am so incredibly proud of every member of the first ever “The Bachelor Girls” cast and feel humbled to have been given this opportunity. My experience was trebled during our final night when Heather (who it’s safe to say we all idolise) bequeathed part of my costume – given to her by her mother who influenced her to be the star that she is today – under the condition that I must pay it forward. As one would expect, I count myself profoundly blessed to not only have been part of a phenomenal journey but to be gifted with such a beautiful and significant piece of a truly remarkable woman’s life!

The highlight of my experience: Heather Douglas, myself and the exquisite flapper dress gifted on our last evening.

My First Full Musical!

Over the next 2 weeks I will be posting very little as I have a hot date with the Plymouth Barbican Theatre!

As some of you will know, back in February I auditioned for the nationally acclaimed Youth Music Theatre UK programme and was one of the luck few to have been cast in a brand new piece of music theatre “The Bachelor Girls”. Over the next 2 weeks I will be working with a team of professionals including Pete Gallagher, Heather Douglas, Caroline Wigmore and Jennifer Green as well as the 30 strong cast to create this exciting new musical culminating in the world preview at Plymouth Barbican Theatre on the 28th and 29th of this month!

If you haven’t guessed I am super excited about this opportunity and needless to say you will hear a lot about of it when I return – this will be my first time performing in a full musical in over 3 years! However with 9 till 9 intensive and only one day off over the course, I will have very little free time (and that which I do will be spent learning lines from the never before seen script!). Consequently I won’t be able to post much but feel free to follow my adventure through twitter: https://twitter.com/ariana_lambert

And for any of you lovely readers who happen to be in the area feel free to come and watch. Further details can be seen here: http://www.barbicantheatre.co.uk/event-details/?eid=20426 and the blurb for the piece goes like this: 

London 1919: a group of teenage girls are forced to rethink their future after the calamity of World War I. There are almost two million more women than men in Britain and our protagonists must now forge their way in a country that is rapidly changing beyond recognition. Follow their journey in a fight for independence; a fight for happiness and a fight for friendship. The Bachelor Girls is a touching exploration of life about the forgotten women in post-war Britain.

Till next time, I just want to thank you all for the support you’ve shown in reading my blog, whether this is your first time or you’re a returning reader – it really means a lot to see the hits rising every day and hear that I’m helping so many of you!

• Ana x

A Day at The Fringe

On friday 7th I went on a crazy one day mission to Edinburgh for a day full of theatre – fresh out of a shift at the nightclub I work in, at 4.30am .

Initially I wasn’t planning on going to the fringe as I didn’t have the money for a hotel and I didn’t believe even I was crazy enough to attempt the Fringe in one day but apparently I was wrong and I was swayed by the free tickets I won to watch lovebirds. After work I jumped on the earliest train possible to Edinburgh Waverley Station with my timetable of shows and venues. The plan was to sleep on the 2 and a half hour train but my brain had other plans; instead I blasted some musicals and read some plays (how stagey) till I arrived. For those who have never been, Waverley station is HUGE – finding my way out was probably the most difficult part of the day but as soon as I stepped out I could feel the theatre vibes! Everywhere you looked was covered in posters and flyers for fringe shows, absolute theatre heaven!

Pleasance Courtyard, venue 33

First stop was to pick up some tickets from the Pleasance Courtyard (Venue 33) which was less than a 10 minute walk pleasing me greatly. The Pleasance Courtyard is a large family centric courtyard run by the north London theatre from which it takes it’s name. The majority of The Pleasance 16 venue’s can be found in this area with a few others spaced out across Edinburgh. The courtyard was very brightly coloured in sunshine yellow with a number of bars and food stalls – it had a kind of English/Scottish country vibe which was really chilled but due to the layout of the buildings the entrance area crammed up really quick. I wanted to pick up my complementry tickets for Lovebirds early as I had a show just before over at Assembly and was worried about time – and thank god I did as it took ages, the poor staff just couldn’t find the tickets anywhere and had to put through completely new ones, whilst it took up valuably fringe time the staff dealt with the situation and were courteous enough to give me some very coherent directions to my first venue.

My first show was over in George Square Studios, just by the Assembly. Again the distance was under a 10 min walk and it was a lot easier to find my way around than I expected – mainly due to the hordes of Fringe staff that are dotted about the city to help out. My first show was a modernised version of “Julius Caeser”  by Bristol Old Vic Theatre School Students held in a university lecture theatre style space. I saw the all male cast on its very first preview so I won’t say too much but I did enjoy it. Lucky me got picked on for audience participation which was quite amusing especially when they agreed to my terms of a place on the course – Bristol I’m 100% holding you to that! What I really did notice was the technical ability of the casts voice’s. As someone who struggles with diction and placement, I almost turned green with envy at the precision and clarity of the boy’s voices – they also incorporated some beautiful harmonies and a very smooth movement section which makes me feel that Bristol is a good school for any applicants who want a good mix of MT and acting. The show was fun and easy enough to follow (there were a lot of kids in the audience so this was a massive plus for them), on one hand, I was slightly disappointed to miss sections due to the audience participation section where the took us back stage but it was also quite entertaining to take part – the younger helpers especially loved getting up on the stage and feeling a part of the production. The cast were clearly very nervous for their first performance but I do hope they have a fabulous run as the hard work was evident.

My *FREE* Tickets to Lovebird the Musical

Following Julius Caeser, I met up with my lovely, Oxfordian friend Lou who had been working over at BBC Glasgow (jealous much!), and together we popped back to the Pleasance to watch Lovebirds. At its London previews the one hour childrens musical got rave reviews so I was really excited to watch it for free. The show takes on the form of a vaudeville production with plaques titling each song/act at the side of the stage. The characters consist of a dinosaur, 4 singing penguins, the macaw sisters, a wise motherly parrot and a flamboyant diva parrot – as you can probably tell it was very much a comedy musical. The production was full of colour and brilliant fun for the whole family with a lot of adult humour thrown into the mix that went straight over the kiddy’s head. I will most likely do a full review of the production but if you get chance do take a look as it runs till the end of the fringe.

The Royal Mile during Edinburgh Fringe

By now I was more than ready for dinner so me and Lou took a trip to The Assembly in George Square to pick up some street food to nibble on in the glorious Assembly gardens. The weather was beautiful so we enjoyed a good hour in the sun with a couple of beers and a g&t from the Hendricks bar (I am a enormous fan of gin and can be found with one in my hand at pretty much any occasion that allows me to drink). The summery feel made it difficult to leave but eventually we dragged ourselves away and headed to the Royal Mile which is the main hub of the fringe festival and unsurprisingly was crammed with what seemed like the entire population of Europe combined. The sheer magnitude of theatre lovers was quite overwhelming and can get quite stressful if you’re looking for a particular venue – give yourself plenty of time and prepare to be pushed around… a lot. However, if you can get over the amount of people the mile is an endless treasure chest of stagey fun with street performances everywhere you look for (a) miles on end.

The flyer for the brilliant Below The Breadline, part of the Desperate Measures Season by second year GSA students

After some time on the mile we headed to Ccubed to watch the second year GSA production of Below The Breadline which I still cannot stop babbling about. The production is a devised piece of theatre exploring the typical day to day lives of various Londoners in the contemporary austerity Britain we face, the difficulties they face as a result of this and their inability to successfully reach out to one another. In the first few moments the piece looked a little flat and cliché “devised” but it didn’t take much longer for the piece to grip me in the worlds of the complex and authentic characters. The reality of their situations easily bought me to tears – there wasn’t a single character or actor that didn’t seem as though they could be a true Londoner re-enacting their own lives. The musical elements intertwined within the piece created an emotive ambience and I was particular impressed with the masterful use of live instruments. All in all it was a truly moving and thought provoking piece – the most prominent thought in my mind being that I just might die if I don’t get to GSA the inordinate volume of talent held by this brilliant cast.

Overall I had a fantastic day and was surprised how much I took in in just one day on a very tight budget. Every penny spent was well worth it and hopefully next year I’ll be able to spend a little more time to get an even better experience. For all my budding actors out there I truly recommend saving up some money to visit the fringe. It’s a marvellous way of seeing a stupendous quantity of theatre in one day and every production I saw (in full or part thereof) was performed to an unexpectedly high standard. My only advice would be to book accommodation early as prices quickly rise and spaces soon run out. 3 days later I’m on a complete fringe come-down, it was one of the greatest theatre experiences I’ve had, albeit a short one!

19 Roles for 19 years!

I’ve been super quiet on here this week for which I’m really sorry, unfortunately I’m prone to bout’s of ear infections which require large doses of pain medication – I didn’t feel that the hallucinations of dancing garden gnomes and sparkly unicorns really fit with the theme of this blog! However, it’s started to ease up (at last!) and before I throw myself back in to the app packs I thought I’d break it with something a bit more fun!

Following my 18th I started keep a bucket list of all the things I wanted to do in life; unsurprisingly about 90% of the list was theatre-related (what can I say? I’m an addict!). Originally this was going to be a list of 5 but I simply couldn’t whittle it down (the other roles might have gotten jealous!) .  So here are 19 roles I’d commit heinous crimes to play I’ve fallen in love with over my 19 years alive!

1. Abigail Williams – The Crucible

I actually got to play this part earlier this year and it was an absolute dream. It was the best experience I’ve had of all the roles I’ve ever played. She’s such a complex, evil-villain type, it was so much fun to explore her mindset, I could be happy playing this role for the rest of my life!

2. Diana – Next to Normal

Possibly my all-time favourite character in my favourite musical. I have a strange fascination with mental health issues and an understanding I feel a lot of people my age (and older) lack – I find characters with disorders so interesting because I want to know how their minds work and always end up finding the normality in them that others can’t see. I would quite possibly commit murder to play Diana, she’s so complex and has the most amazing scenes in addition to beautiful songs – I must have played the Next to Normal soundtrack about 10,000 times over in the last year alone.

3. Tamora, Queen of the Goths – Titus Andronicus

Just as I was finishing college my year put on a spectacular production of Titus…. which I had to miss due to illness. I was gutted but I just wasn’t well enough to take part. Tamora is such a fiery character and Titus is possibly my favourite Shakespeare – who doesn’t love a bit of bloodshed!

4.Veronica – Heather’s

Because Dead Girl Walking is the ultimate anthem. I’d settle for Heather McNamara because Candy store and lifeboat would be brilliant songs to be a part of, but Veronica’s awkward – cool transformation wins out for me. I think the music is so great that I’d have a really fun time playing this part; even in the weirdest situations Veronica is so down to earth, awesome and real.

5. Viv – Di & Viv & Rose

Preferably opposite Jenna Russell.  I saw this play during previews at the start of the year and was also lucky enough to meet one of my personal idols Jenna Russell who played Rose. The premiss of the play follows 3 friends from their meeting a uni all through their adult-life and it is honestly such a refreshingly honest piece of theatre, I laughed and cried all the way through! Sam Spiro played Viv when I watched and I sort of fell headfirst for the character – the journey she goes on is immense and I absolutely love her feminist fire – it would be an absolute dream to play this role when I’m older.

6.Bonnie – Bonnie & Clyde

Dyin’ Ain’t So Bad was last seasons audition song and even after about 800 renditions I still love this musical and the character! Part of the appeal is definitely the southern american accent which is by far my favourite accent to do because its the only one I can do.  Also the history of the actual Bonnie and Clyde is so interesting, the back story behind the character makes her a fabulous part to play.

7. Hamlet – Hamlet

I think every girls has an iconic male lead they want for themselves and this is mine. Hamlet is a role I just fall into really easily and I would love to explore his descent into madness. Hamlet is such a meaty iconic role, it’s a massive challenge and one I really hope I get to take on in the future!

8.Mimi – Rent

In my drama group there was a very clear and unwritten rule that if we ever performed Rent – MIMI WAS MINE. During college prancing around empty dance studio’s performing my special rendition of “Out Tonight” was pretty much all that got me through to the end. This is probably the role I actually cannot live my entire life without playing her at least once. To me Mimi has always been a breath of a fresh air and a release from my life – which is ironic considering she nearly dies of AIDs in the musical but hey, the heart wants what the heart wants!

9. Stella – Whale Music

Now this role would be tough, I’ve attempted a few monologues and really struggled with her but for some reason I find the complexity hidden behind her casual, “carefree” attitude immensely gripping. There are so many levels to her behaviour and though track which appear to be utterly spontaneous, I think its a really difficult part to get right but superb when it’s achieved.

10. Hope Cladwell – Urinetown

Hope’s naivety and unassailable “hope” for the good makes her a hilariously warm hearted character that, as an audience member, made me route for her from the start to the end of the play – even if part of me knew she was horribly overlooking the obvious. If done wrong, this can be a truly awful musical but when performed as it was by the London 2014 cast, it can be a true spectacle. The stock characterisation created an energy throughout the piece that very nearly had me leaping up on stage to join them!

11. Ilse Neumann – Spring Awakening (Play and Musical!)

Ilse is by far my favourite character in the story. In both the play and musical she has much less stage time than the other leads but without fail I am always drawn to her character much more than the others. Part of me wishes I could travel in time simply to grill Frank Wedekind on her story before and after the action – I’m utterly fascinated with the outsider!

12. Carrie -Carrie

I love a good transformation story, and it doesn’t come more extreme than Carrie. The teen-aged Matilda with an even crazier mama. The songs, the character, the events, everything about this role calls to me. I finally got to see a production this May (as reviewed) and the whole time I was reciting lines wishing it was me.

13. Maria – West Side Story

I used to think of this role as a bit of a sap but after having the opportunity to sort of play her I am a west side convert. Maria goes on a massive journey in West Side Story and you pretty much see every emotion possible portrayed, the songs are beautiful, classic Sondheim and as a Sop, I really do appreciate a good high C.

14. Woman – 4.48 Psychosis

This is my piece.

One day people will understand the utter genius that is 4.48 Psychosis, till that day I exist to point it out. The character; often depicted as a stark raving lunatic; to me is simply voicing normality and the way in which it gets on top of us all. We all fear rejection, we all fear failure, we all fear the future. No matter how much we argue – it’s in our DNA- and this piece is a beautiful realisation of a suffering mind that to some extent we can all relate to. The difference is that this one doesn’t want to cope.

15. The Mad Hatter – Wonderland

Have you heard “I will prevail”? – No further explanation needed.

16. Charley – Merrily We Roll Along

My immensely talented friend and 2nd year GSA’er Joshua Gannon (remember the name he’s truly something special) performed this role in our final year of college and I have loved it ever since. Maybe it’s bias but his rendition of “Franklin Shepard Inc.” still has me in creases every time I cast my mind back. Charley is such an emotionally varied role and Merrily is a fantastic production, I couldn’t possibly miss him off the list!

17. Sarah – Ragtime

The paleness of my skin almost brings a tear to my eye when I think about this role. Ragtime is a beautiful and moving piece of theatre with a hard hitting depiction of the injustice of racism. The songs can easily move me to tears and the smooth tones of the ragtime music makes me want to listen all day everyday.

18. Catherine – The Memory of Water

Catherine has possibly one of the funniest and unnervingly familiar speeches I have come across in a long time. Shelagh Stephenson’s play is a gripping piece of theatre centring around memory and the relationship’s of this rather erratic family. Catherine is so ridiculously self-obsessed it’s hard not to love her just a little bit.

19. Elphaba – Wicked

And last, but not least; the musical theatre cliché! Elphaba of course makes the list. Wicked was my first west-end musical and one I will never forget, I can’t remember a time where I haven’t dreamed of playing this iconic role and I’m pretty sure that 90% of the people I know would jump if given the chance. She’s so technically challenging I feel like this must be a true “made it” moment!

Manchester International Festival – What’s it all about?

It’s the Biennial Manchester International Festival and 2015 marks its 5th outing since the first gala back in 2007.

The festival takes place across Manchester and Salford over 18 days from the 2nd to the 19th July. The City’s theatres and open spaces become a hub for new performing and visual art commissions to preview work and celebrate international artistic diversity. Since the first festival Manchester has launched 81 new works and see’s over 200,000 visitors to the attractions. This year is no exception and will see the beginning of some brilliant productions before they head off to on the next step of their journey.

Manchester’s many theatres will house a range of productions from “The Skriker” by internationally acclaimed playwright Caryl Churchill starring Maxine Peake to the brand new alice musical “wonder.land” ahead of it’s transfer to the Oliver at the National in November (both of which I’m dying to catch). Meanwhile Albert Square becomes the hear of the festival with food outlets and bars lining the area around the Pavilion Theatre serving dishes from all around the world. The Festival Pavilion will host DJ’s and for those who enjoy a more chilled vibe there will be an acoustic stage set up right by the Memorial to take a break from the theatrics. To top it all off even the BBC are getting involved broadcasting a number of radio shows live at the scene as well as filming for a special broadcast to be televised on BBC4 during the festivities.

Personally I can’t wait to visit and take in some top class theatre right down the road. MIF2015 promises to be a fantastic few weeks for lovers of the arts so get down and watch whilst you can – Edinburgh look-out you’ve got competition!

For more information on what’s on and to book tickets visit the website at:

http://www.mif.co.uk/

Acting with Anxiety – My personal journey.

Now this post is one that has been waiting to be written for quite some time but I could never quite find the words. It is a very personal topic and all views and thoughts expressed are therefore completely of the individual.

As I’ve mentioned several times before I suffer from serve anxiety – more specifically severe social anxiety. Crowds, new people, cliques, change, public speaking anything to do with the general idea of socialising can cause me to fall to the floor in a swirl of hyperventilating, tear stained mess. I’d always suffered from excessive exam stress – I convinced myself that anything but the best meant failure – however it wasn’t until I moved away from home that my condition really seemed to arise. Whilst reading the following, I ask you all to keep in mind that this focuses on a particularly bad part of my life when I looked only at the negatives – it is not to say however that during this time period I didn’t also meet some wonderful people or even that those mentioned are anything but human – we all make mistakes.

In a new city, a new school with what was meant to be a big bright future ahead of me I struggled. No matter what I did the students just didn’t seem to like me – I was different, weird and gradually becoming less and less able to “keep calm”. All I wanted was to be perfect – no matter what people told me or what I told them this was my goal and it made me volatile and vulnerable. Unfortunately, kids can be cruel, I was an easy target and the social climbers were all too ready to step on my face for their own cause. My life was slowly falling apart around me and I was grasping on to anything that could keep it together – regrettably I never grasped at the right things. If someone said they were my friend then that’s all it took – it didn’t matter how they treated me because I just wanted to fit in. People took advantage because even when I did try to stand up for myself it took them about 2 words to convince myself and everyone else that I was completely unbalanced and therefore everything out of my mouth was irrelevant. One particular colleague would sit for hours at a time convincing me that I was a truly awful person simply (and similarly to most) because he couldn’t face his own shortfalls and it was much easier to blame me – regularly after classes together I ended up either vomiting into the nearest toilet or passed out on said toilet floor because I felt that intimidated. He spread his story throughout our peers and that’s what stuck because I was a hysterical-vodka downing-nobody who couldn’t even breathe properly. This behaviour became more and more destructive and needless to say my college years did not end well and then I moved again.

Properly treated and in a new environment my anxiety seemed to melt away. The people I’ve met this year changed me completely. In a positive environment my outlook changed; I cannot speak more highly of my classmates, tutors and those who I took forward on my journey nor the kindness they have shown me this past year. With their help I learnt to accept that perfection is an ideal – not something we are supposed to attain but rather aim for. In the years passed I lost all confidence in myself and here I began to rebuild it; for possibly the first time in my life I didn’t question peoples actions towards me or react to the smallest bit of negativity. Correspondingly I became much happier and I started to look to a future I had never believed in before. Throughout this ordeal acting had been my one constant and finally I was able to focus all my efforts with renewed passion and vigour; I had worked so hard why stop now? My days and nights became committed to learning and filling the gaps and strengthening a weakened foundation. The way people viewed me changed completely, I was a committed, determined and focussed student, lovely, sweet, even missed – words I hadn’t heard in the same sentence as my name in quite some time. I took control.

A career in the performing arts is difficult to say the least. Any impediment can make it seem impossible. In a number of auditions, I have noted that I was questioned on my anxiety and I suspect this will be the case for some time. It is understandable as it seems strange that such a judgemental business can seem so appealing to someone who experiences severe physical reactions when asked only to introduce themselves – but it is. Performing has been a part of my life since the moment I was born, I have never imagined another career path and the idea of ending this hurricane of a romance causes me more pain than the worst anxiety attack I have ever endured. My journey is longer, I have more to overcome, but I refuse to be defined by anxiety and with the right support I have proven time and time again that it needn’t stop me from doing what I love. Sadly not all the world will agree. Our pasts have a way of following us and my illness – whilst less imposing – will not magically disappear. A lack of eduction on such topics marks me out as a risk to potential employers. That doesn’t mean that I have to let it determine me though. People can be educated and everyone can progress. 

Just a couple of years ago I was so out of control that I regularly managed to physically paralyse myself resulting in many excruciatingly embarrassing moments in which teachers and friends had to move my limbs for me to break the mental block I’d created. In all honesty a successful career felt utterly out of reach. Today I am filled with the knowledge that I am loved and supported by some brilliant people, I can control my attacks, I am off to drama school and will stop at nothing to attain my goal. 

Top 10 Tips…. Staying Healthy

So once again I find myself in the position of having no voice with just 5 days to go to till my 2nd audition…. eeep! However, just like last time, I remain determined and bring you my Top 10 Tips on how to stay healthy before an audition!

1. Rest

As much as you may want to practise, pushing your body and voice when you aren’t at the top of you game will only make you worse. Make sure you are getting plenty of sleep and avoid stressful situations as much as possible – tension and lack of rest are no friend to your vocal chords.

2. Warm Up

If you do decide to rehearse your pieces it is more important than ever that you are full warmed up beforehand. Whether its monologues or songs be sure to complete at least half an hours worth of breathing and vocal exercises before you start your rehearsal and be sure to cool do after!

3. Keep Lubricated

This means water – and lots of it! Being sick can dry out the throat so you need to be drinking as much fluids as possible to counteract this – but be aware of freezing cold water; your vocal chords are a muscle and when muscles get cold they contract. This contraction can cause tension in the voice making it difficult to produce a high quality sound.

4. Avoid Harmful Substances

Yep this means cigarettes, smoke, alcohol, dairy, citrus products, acidic food & drink, spicy foods and caffeine – even antihistamines and decongestants. All of these can dry out your throat leaving your voice hoarse – not the best sound for an audition!

5. Stay Warm

Physically that is. This one is quite self-explanatory; if you’re currently ill chances are it has much to do with the fast approaching winter weather and going out in flimsy outfits will only make you worse. Grab that sweater and don the hat and scarf your granny made you last year – not only will she be ever so pleased to see it in the light of day, you’ll also be much less prone to colds and flu.

6. Honey & Hot water

As disgusting as it sounds every good actress knows that a steaming mug of honey and hot water is their best friend when it comes to illness. Personally out of all the tips on this list, this is my favourite – it has yet to fail me! The health benefits of this beauty are endless, most importantly the honey will soothe your throat and remove irritation from any dry coughing; in addition to this it promotes oral health, increases energy levels and boosts your immune system! As if that wasn’t enough it’s also a fantastic way of loosing weight and keeping slim – quite a plus in an industry that can actually get away with discriminating against looks; especially if – like me – you have trouble staying on top of your weight. Adding a couple of drops of freshly squeezed lemon can also add to its endless benefits.

 7. Be Healthy

Whilst the lure of the local takeaway may be strong – avoid it! If you’re already ill filling yourself with fatty greasy foods will do you no favours. Instead opt for those green things at the bottom of fridge and if you feel up for it go for a run! As performers we are athletes and this means we must treat ourselves as such; would a gold medallist runner fill themselves with pizza, chips, chocolate and crisps before a big race? Probably not therefore neither should you! In times of sickness, comfort foods are not your friends, they will leave you feeling lethargic and tired.

8. Vocalzones

Vocalzones contain Myrrh as an active ingredient which acts as an anti-inflammatory, antimicrobial, astringent, antiseptic and analgesic. This means they provide the most powerful relief from a sore throat you can probably get and they are specially designed for singers. With a long list of celebrity endorsements and having taken them myself I can tell you now taking one of these babies is quite the experience; the tablet instantly opened up my throat and relieved irritation making my performance about 100 x better. Whilst other lozenges may help for a short while, I’m yet to find one as effective as vocalzones. The only issue is that they are quite hard to come by although they can be purchased on-line or found in some branches of Boots here in the UK.

9. Get Steamy

Air-conditioning, central heating, cold winter air, dehumidifiers in rehearsals rooms – all off these dry out your throat and can have an adverse effect on your vocal chords. Humidity is a singers friend and to keep your voice sound crystal clear I suggest steaming in around twice a day. This can be done using a professional vocal/facial steaming device or if you’re on a tight budget simply fill a bucket/ your sink with boiling hot water and throw your head over it with a towel. In addition to lubricating the vocal chords this can be a fantastic way of clearing sinuses and getting rid of nasty colds!

And Finally…

10. KNOW YOUR LIMITS!

Now I know this is every actors worst nightmare but if it comes to the day before the audition and you’re still coughing your guts up with a voice that sounds like you’re gargling nails? Chances are you are not doing yourself any favours in going to that audition and you probably won’t be showing your self in the best light. The night before ask yourself will you be able to show off your abilities at their best? If the answer is no get on that phone and REARRANGE! I believe any audition panel member would much rather you waited till you were healthy than wasted their time with a mediocre audition that isn’t true to your abilities!